Every child is blessed at birth with a special gift. She is predisposed
to have certain likes and dislikes. There is something she is good at.
Children have particular interests. It may be singing, playing a
musical instrument, drawing, math or sports. They have an inner drive
to explore and learn. They are self motivated to accomplish personal
goals. Think about a child just learning to walk. He makes numerous
attempts, fails quite a few times but does not give up. It takes a lot
of patience and effort to finally learn to walk. This “I can” attitude,
this urge to keep on trying comes from somewhere within.
Perseverance is a natural quality in all of us but as we grow
older this early enthusiasm, ability to focus and the inner motivation
to get it right, fades. However as a parent or a teacher we can prevent
our children from giving up on their passions, from losing interest in
what they love to do. If you look at the successful people of all times
from Thomas A. Edison to Bill Gates you will notice that they did their
thing because they love doing it and they didn’t give up until they
achieved what they wanted.
Success = Passion + Perseverance
If
your child learns to give up when things get difficult, he will not be
able to overcome the obstacles in his own life. One of the most
effective defense against despair and depression at any age is the “I
can and I will” attitude. You can help your child develop this positive
attitude during play time. You can encourage him to play the games that
he likes. During rich imaginative play children learn to solve
problems. Make sure that during play time your child takes challenges
that are at or a bit above his current skills. Let your child
experience both victory and defeat. This way he will learn to tolerate
frustration. Praise him when he wins and help him deal with the pain
when he doesn’t win. You can tell him little inspiring stories of
people who never got discouraged like Einstein or if your child is
younger you can make up stories using animals as characters. You can
humor him or use some philosophy. However the best way for your child
to learn perseverance is to show him that you never give up.
Children
learn from you, how to deal with disappointment be it in your every day
life, work or even being stuck in a traffic jam. It is not only the
things you say or do in difficult situations but children can sense
what you are feeling. Whether you are feeling depressed or determined,
they will pick up the signal you are sending out. They will learn to
react to their own problems by watching you. So if you want your child
to possess qualities like determination, courage, confidence,
perseverance, patience and the rest of the list, then develop these
qualities in yourself first.
Another important thing to remember
is that you should not try to live your dream through your child (it is
alright to do so only if she is showing interest in the area you want
her to pursue). Her inner urge to excel at what she loves could
diminish if your expectations don’t coincide with her own interest and
abilities.
In order for you to identify your child’s talent you
have to spend time with him and watch him play. Notice what kinds of
questions he asks. Tune in to his individual interests. Keep track of
activities which come to him easily and make him happy. Remember these
will change as he evolves. So watch, observe and stay tuned in as your
children grow.
It is good practice to expose your child to a wide
range of interests. Allow her to take part in different activities. A
preschooler may not know yet, what she likes. Talents may not make
themselves visible during the early years of a child’s life. So it is
important that you let her explore different things, she will be
naturally drawn to activities she prefer. Take her to museums, sports
or cultural events. At home involve her in household chores or toss a
ball around with her. However as she grows older avoid putting her in
too many extracurricular activities and let her concentrate on those
areas where she has shown true excellence and advanced ability. One of
the most important goals of teachers and parents should be to find
areas in which a child might experience mastery.
Timing is
important too. Research shows that toddlers who learn simple concepts
like one and many do better in math. If your child is interested in
music then the best time for him to learn a musical instrument or other
concepts related to music is between the ages of 3 to 10. Having said
that, talent can be discovered and developed at any age provided that
the child has a keen desire and love for what he wants to achieve and a
“stick to it” mentality. When we teach our children how to develop
their talents we also teach them the lesson of really working at what
they believe in, they develop will power and learn that every thing is
possible. They learn that in order to turn their aptitude into mastery
they should keep at it.
If your child shows interest in a
particular area, don’t just sit there and look at his gift as if it is
magic, do something about it. If he is interested in music, save up for
music lessons. If he is interested in art, buy him some art supplies.
Encourage
him to develop his talent and to really work at it. And he will gladly
do it because it is gratifying, it is what he enjoys. People who are
leading mediocre lives are doing so not because they don’t have any
talent but it is because they don’t recognize it or are too lazy to
develop it or they gave it up when the going got a bit tougher. It is
really important that our children learn to never give up on what they
believe in. They must know that with practice comes perfection.
It
goes without saying that you should provide good education for your
children but make sure that formal learning settings doesn’t take away
the spark of individuality and uniqueness from your child. Be
supportive of her interests and hobbies and make sure to provide her
with the tools to pursue them.
When you work with your child to
develop his talent, you are at the same time building his character as
he acquires the necessary qualities for success whilst working on his
talent. One important point to remember is that you should make sure
that your child feels that he is connected to others. He must know that
he is being valued for who he actually is and not just for his
accomplishments. Don’t let him grow in to an “accomplishment junky”,
who is always striving for the next best thing and is never satisfied
and grateful for what he has.
Talent
development also helps in the development of spiritual character in the
sense that we learn the lesson to “use” whatever gifts God has given
us. Our physical skills are directly related to our ultimate spiritual
development.
Assist your children to identify and develop their talents. Provide
them with the resources they need to pursue their interests. Accept
their uniqueness. Encourage their enthusiasm. Help them to be the best
they can by discovering their true potential.
